In this post, you're going to learn the 10 things you can change to become a better man.
Each one has an invaluable role to play in your life-long journey of becoming an accomplished, debonair, modern-day gentleman. Once you implement them, you'll see changes in not only how you view life but also how you view yourself.
1. Build Intrinsic Confidence
Sadly this topic is often viewed as taboo as men are expected to be naturally confident as a part of their masculinity. If one lacks confidence, they are easily viewed as being somehow less of a man.
As a result, many men constantly have to put up a show to appear confident. This is referred to as extrinsic self-esteem.
On the other hand, intrinsic self-esteem or self-confidence is built within yourself, i.e. originates from the inside of you rather than from any external sources. It occurs when you:
- Shed the belief that, "You're not good enough."
- Wholeheartedly acknowledging your true nature, including the flaws and mistakes.
- Forgive yourself for everything you've done in the past.
- Cultivate a sense of unconditional self-worth.
When you develop self-confidence internally, you're in total control over your feelings and self-image. No matter what happens, no one can rip your confidence away. This is one of the core traits of the modern gentleman.
2. Be A Positive Contributor to Your Local Community
Most men believe that being a good man means supporting a family financially. It means much more than that. A man should also contribute to his family's emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental well-being. Even then, it shouldn't stop at that.
Whether you are a brother, father or son, you have a role to play in the development of your fellow men and the community at large. It's easy to talk about all of the shortcomings and disadvantages prevalent in your local community, but it takes a lot more effort to do something about it.
A gentleman will recognize this need and be willing to fill it in their own way.
- Volunteer at the local school.
- Coach a local kid's team.
- Organize a charity activity or donate to a local charity.
- Volunteer with a community-based mentorship program.
- Schedule a volunteer day with your colleagues.
The list of how you can give back to your community is endless. It's really up to you.
3. 10X Your Attractiveness with Fragrances
From exploring the rich notes exuding from a glass of wine to humidifying the air you breathe, your olfactory system services an unimaginable number of functions.
Additionally, you've probably noticed that scents can intermingle with memories and emotions, bringing you right back to the feeling you had at that moment that your body links with that particular scent. Scents are that powerful!
Recent studies now show that fragrances have been found to influence the perception of attraction. It's not just a matter of good looks.
The researcher also found that this perceived attractiveness impacts day-to-day life in a variety of ways, influencing not only romantic relationships but also friendships and professional interactions.
Knowing this scientific fact should be all the motivation men need to start using perfume on their own bodies. That being said, fragrances mix with your natural body scent, so you need to find ones that work best for you.
While this calls for some experimenting, it's definitely worth it. Plus, there are countless tutorials on YouTube to get you started on your fragrance journey.
4. Be More Intentional with How You Spend Your Time
Being intentional with your time means aiming to do everything consciously and on purpose. This sounds straightforward, but it's becoming a rare thing in the ultra distracting world we live in now.
Despite this, your time is arguably one of your most limited resources. As they say, time waits for no one. All the same, it's possible to live intentionally and create a life that supports your growth as a man.
The first step is to carry out an inventory of how you spend your time.
- When was the last time you assessed what you really 'need' to do? Do these needs really reflect how you want to live your life every day?
- When you go to bed at night, do you feel content, settled and happy with what you've done today?
Take a few days to reflect on these questions. Be honest with yourself and remember the end goal of this exercise is to help you take complete ownership over your time.
Let your answers be a launchpad for the positive changes you need to make.
Here are two points that are key to being intentional with your time.
- Busy and productive aren't the same thing: You can be all over the place but still not achieve what you set out to.
- Productive doesn't always mean you have to be "doing something": A nap or walk can be productive if you need it and it serves a purpose.
Pay Attention To Your Choice of Shoes
There's a mammoth of content about style and dressing on the internet, so I won't waste time regurgitating any of it. Instead, my focus is on one area that's often neglected—shoes!
So, does it really matter what shoes you wear? Well, your choice of shoes matters, and in more ways than one.
- The shoes you're wearing complement the rest of your look. Class is the name of the game. A good outfit must be complemented by quality footwear.
- They impact people's impressions of you. It's human nature to judge people on appearances. If you are wearing dirty or scuffed shoes, people might perceive you as someone who doesn't care about their outward appearance or pay attention to details.
- Shoes cushion and support your feet. Wearing the right shoe can help keep your feet healthy and your body safe from injury.
- Shoes, especially premium dress shoes, are expensive to buy. Choosing the right pair of shoes is an investment. It will either serve you well for years or leave you regretting your decision after a few days!
Be Willing to Learning New Things
Typically, learning is viewed as a means to an end. We go to elementary school to learn to read, and then we go to college to learn a profession. We learn for the purpose of doing something else. For many, education stops at school. This is a great disservice to self.
What makes us human is the desire and capacity to grow and become better continually. No matter your age, career or life stage, there are always opportunities to learn new things.
Whether it's gaining leadership skills, learning new mindsets, or learning to do the same things in a different way, always embrace the process of learning wholeheartedly.
This is one of the most impactful commitments you can make in your life.
- It will make you happier and give you a sense of accomplishment every time you learn something you didn't know before.
- Learning opens up a new, undiscovered world full of exciting opportunities.
- It will boost your skills and help you advance in your career.
- It will inspire those around you to learn!
- The benefits are limitless!
Be a Dependable Friend
Here are some common traits of a good dependable friend:
- They are honest and tell you the truth even if it's hard.
- They make you feel confident in who you are and don't instill self-doubt or insecurity in you.
- They keep your secrets and make you feel safe to share your plans.
- They don't demand all of your attention and understand that life gets busy.
Friendship isn't the easiest thing. Have you ever wondered why? I know I have. In today's culture that revolves around self-centeredness, it can be hard to spot true friendship.
That's why it has to start with you. One of the virtues we advocate for here at Compass Longview is being selfless and a person who genuinely cares for others.
Do you have the traits we have mentioned above? One of the marks of a true gentleman is his ability to be a good, dependable friend to his mates.
The beauty of friendship, unlike family, is that you get to choose your friends. This means you have no reason not to put your best foot forward.
Polish Up Polite Conversation
Some people might consider using polite language an outdated etiquette rule, but it isn't. Understanding the art of polite conversation, including what topics are acceptable, what topics to avoid, and how to end uncomfortable exchanges, will enable you to make conversation in any situation. This is an invaluable skill every man needs.
- Learn how to give compliments. The first words out of your mouth when you meet a woman on a date should be something in the line of "you look beautiful". If you are already in a relationship, don't take your partner for granted. Compliment her as well on a regular basis. Also, do not feel embarrassed when someone compliments you. Take it in stride and savor it.
- Don't shy away from small talk as it helps grease the wheels at business meetings and makes social interactions less awkward. Remember to follow up on the information they share with supplementary questions. It shows you are interested and paying attention to what they are saying. It helps to have a couple of good, funny stories in your back pocket all the time.
- When talking to anyone, use the magic words "please" and "thank you" as well as polite phrases like "I am there for you" or "I will take care of that, don't worry" and so on.
The subject of polite conversation is an entire topic on its own, so I'll leave it there. I hope you get the gist of it.
Keep Your Testerone At Optimum Level
Testosterone is the primary male sex hormone. It helps promote male traits such as increased muscle and bone mass, and the growth of body hair. It is also essential in mood and energy levels.
As a man ages, the amount of testosterone in his body gradually drops. This natural decline starts after age 30 and continues (about 1% per year) throughout his life. Men with low testosterone often experience symptoms such as low libido, sleeping problems, depressed mood, and decreased energy levels.
If you suspect you are suffering from low testosterone (T) levels, it is advisable to first go for a check-up and confirm there's no underlying health issue behind it.
Once that's out of the way, here are some natural ways to increase your testosterone levels:
- High-intensity interval training has been shown to improve T levels in all age groups.
- Higher levels of body fat are strongly correlated to lower levels of testosterone. Losing those extra pounds will have a positive impact on your T levels.
- Getting quality sleep is hard to do in our modern society. Nevertheless, if you care about your T levels, you need to have adequate shut-eye.
Have Genuine Hobbies
Hopefully, by now, you know that watching Netflix doesn't count as a hobby. True hobbies can go beyond entertaining you. They can help keep your mind sharp, expand your creativity, help you meet friends, and teach you valuable life skills. Ultimately, any hobby you pursue should challenge and refresh you.
If you don't have any hobbies, how do you get started? For actual recommendations click here. Alternatively, here's a simple exercise to help you figure out the best hobbies for you.
Make a list of 5-10 activities you've always wanted to do. Set aside time to engage in each and ask yourself three questions:
- Did I have fun? It's good to chill and take things easy.
- Was I challenged? The goal is to push yourself without any overexertion.
- Is this sustainable? It shouldn't consume too much of your time or money.
Now go and fearlessly do what sets your heart ablaze. Life's too short to spend it all in front of a work computer or TV screen.